Flindt on Friday: Mystery deepens as stolen trailer appears

The good news is that I’ve found my stolen trailer. The bad news is that “Caravan Bob” is back – although we should perhaps call him “Trailer Bob”.

Caravan Bob – as you’ll know if you read my first book – was a mysterious and possibly mythical figure who turned up on a local building site several years ago.

A multimillion-pound revamp of a huge manor house was just coming to an end, and the tidy-up was set to start.

Bob apparently made himself known to the Site Manager, and offered to help dispose of the multitude of caravans that had accumulated over the years.

“Fill ’em full of waste, too!” he told the Manager. “I’ll make sure it’s all done legally. Cash and no paperwork, of course. I’ll even use your pickup.”

See also: Buyer’s guide to bale trailers with hydraulic sides

Over the next few days, a multitude of waste-filled caravans appeared in local lay-bys and field entrances.

Curiously, Fareham Magistrates doubted Bob’s existence and hit the Manager with a mighty fine. Bob got away with it.

Bob a job

I think Bob is back, and now he’s helping himself to trailers. You see, I was enjoying a bit of Parrishing in the FW classifieds on Good Friday when I spotted my stolen Warwick (the one that vanished from an outlying barn about a year ago) at a dealer in the West Country.

Early Saturday morning, I was in his yard, waving a list of “features/dents/rust that I know it will have if it is mine”.

The Dealer (we’ll call him Dealer A, because he was not alone in this saga) agreed that it was mine.

He was, not surprisingly, a bit miffed; he’d bought it in good faith from Dealer B, who was even deeper into the West Country.

“I’ve got some paperwork indoors, too,” he said, and vanished for a moment or two.

The little Warwick trailer before it was stolen © Charlie Flindt

He reappeared shortly afterwards with a copy of a receipt, for Dealer B from a farmer.

Not just any old farmer; it was a farmer a few miles from us, just a short drive away through the quiet country lanes. A heck of long way from Farmer X to Dealer B, but there we go.

I had to wait till after Easter to raise my Countrywatch Policeman, and he took on the case with fierce enthusiasm; mind you, he is an ex-farm manager, so he appreciates our fury at having a well-loved trailer go missing – even if it is 30 years old and only a four-tonner. And it had 3t of beans in it.

Social shenanigans

After a week or two, even Policeman Ian had to admit defeat. He’d talked at length to everyone involved in the chain that led to Dealer A – except for one crucial link: Farmer X had bought the Warwick from a stranger on Facebook.

Much to Ian’s disappointment – because he was very keen to solve this trivial but somehow significant piece of rural crime – Farmer X had no record of the deal.

No paperwork, no receipts, no nothing. So we’ll never get to the bottom of just who is happy to drive into someone’s barn, fully equipped with the right tractor, and make off with a farmer’s trailer. It can only be Trailer Bob.

I’ll get it back of course, the NFU will get the insurance money, dealers A and B have agreed to split A’s losses, and Farmer X is, one assumes, looking into the basics of Facebook archives.

Policeman Ian is cross, I am fuming – the only one who comes out of it with a big, smug smile is Trailer Bob. He’s got away with it again.